Why I Run and What I Am Thankful For

 A little over two years ago I began running. As I have said before, I was very out of shape. I had high blood pressure and I could barely run a quarter of a mile. Now I can complete (while mainly running) half marathons with relative ease. I have come a long way, but I still have further to go.

But why do I run? Why do I push myself? Why do I workout as much as I do? Honestly, it is the only thing that makes me feel truly good about myself. Like I said before, I am going to be candid and be real. I have very low self esteem and the only time when I really feel proud of me is when I am running. Its sad, I know, but try as I may I can't seem to shake the low self esteem. Its really the only time when I feel like I am special. I hate to say it, but I am a "forgotten" person. Its been something I have suffered from since I was young. Family, friends, and work all forget about me all the time. Most people don't realize I exist unless they want something and its sad. When I run, I don't feel forgotten. I love having people cheer me on and I love having people take the time to tell me I am doing great. They may be a stranger, but for that brief moment in time when they tell me something positive in a race it means the world to me.

 I also suffer from anxiety. I deal with it, but a lot of times I am afraid to try new things or go places and meet new people because of how anxious I get. Its crippling, but when I run I don't have those fears. I don't mind being in a crowd of people and running with them. Often times I meet new friends and I am not afraid to talk to them. Running helps me get over my fears and that is better than anything I could hope for.

So it is the Thanksgiving season and I want to state what and who I am thankful for in my life:
1. My husband who truly cares about me and whom I love.
2. My family both mine and his for being a means of support and stability.
3. My pets, especially Bandit who loves me unconditionally.
4. My best friends, Natalie and Valerie, I don't know what I would do without the two of you.
5. My job, as stressful as it may be, at least I am fortunate enough to have one.
6. Great colleagues like Casey, Marcella, and Josh whom I know I can talk to about almost anything.
7. My home and my car both may be old and broke down at times, but at least they fulfill a basic need.
8. My life, no matter how flawed it may be and how forgotten I may feel at times, at least I know every day on this earth is a new adventure and blessing.
9. Running, without it I wouldn't have any direction or a way to stay sane.
10. My ability to persevere when the chips are down.

I am continuing to run and this week I have two turkey trots coming up.

Until next time, happy running and happy thanksgiving.