So here's the thing... I have been talking a lot to a lot of people about running, working out, etc and a lot of people keep saying the same thing that I am inspirational or that I motivate them. I am not bringing this up to be egotistical but rather because it just boggles my mind. I guess I just don't understand why anyone would think I am "inspirational."
I think why I have been getting the kudos is because of my last doctor's visit. I was excited, so I told a lot of people what my doc said. A year and half ago, I was diagnosed with high blood pressure and overall my doctor was really worried about my general health. A year and a half ago was also when I made the commitment to start running. In fact, for a while my doctor told me I was not allowed to run because my blood pressure was so terrible. Actually, about a month before the Baltimore Half Marathon he told me I shouldn't be running it. I was about ready to cancel the whole thing, then I decided I would just walk it because I didn't want to waste the money I had spent and I knew I would be disappointed with myself. About a week before, I had monitored my blood pressure and things seemed good, so I decided that I was not going to listen and I was going to run as much of it as I could. (Note: I normally do not endorse not listening to your doctors). So I ran it and I felt amazing because I accomplished something, then I felt like hell because my body was woefully under-prepared for the challenge. Fast forward to 6 months ago, my doctor told me that I had been making significant improvements and that if I kept at it, I could lower my blood pressure and lose weight. The latter is really what I needed to do. Well, last Wednesday, I went to the doctor. I sat there in front of him a size smaller, with lower blood pressure, and considerably more toned, but without having lost any weight. He looked puzzled...
The crux of the conversation went something like this, I am apparently built like a tank and will never be a small person. He explained to me that through running, lifting, and cardio I have massed incredibly dense muscle in my lower half. My legs are solid rocks, little bit of bragging, he was actually quite impressed because I have more muscle in my legs than most people and he equated my muscle structure to that of a professional athlete. He also told me that muscle does weigh more than fat and, which I know we all have heard. But in my case, I have so much dense muscle that the scales are always going to look disproportionate to my actual physical health and BMI. Long story short, he told me I was in perfect health and that he wished all of his patients would do a fraction of the exercise I did. He said running and hardwork was why I am in so much better shape then I was a year ago. But what really made me feel better was that he told me I need to let go of the idea that I will have a small waist, and that I am better off being bigger than smaller because of how much body fat I would have to lose. It is perhaps the first time someone was okay with me and the way I am.
So here I am... more people believe in me and what I can do everyday. I decided I wanted to start the insanity program with my friend, and I was surprised to find that both her and my brother in law think I have a better chance of completing it because they think I am in better shape. They aren't the first to tell me this, and honestly its a little weird. Its hard to look at the person in the mirror and think of them as an in shape individual. I have also had others tell me that I am the reason why they started running or started working out because they see how successful I am in. its not until I hear these things that I begin to wonder if I am not giving myself enough credit.
I just had to write about this because it has been confusing me. I just see myself as ordinary and trying to accomplish a long standing goal I have had. I never intended anything that I did to be inspirational or motivational, and quite frankly it freaks me out a little bit to think that anyone could hold me in that type of esteem. So now the pressure is really on...can't quite now!!! :-P
Until later...happy running!
Total Miles: 9.5 miles
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