I know a week or two ago I said I would only post once a week unless something really important happened. It's not necessarily that something important happened, but I realized how I feel. This led to a deeper understanding of why I decided to run in the first place.
First let me say, I had a bad day at work. Actually, this year it seems like I have had many bad days at work. Just a quick vent, I get frustrated that I never get recognized by my boss' for my work and all the extra things i do. I also get frustrated at how my students don't understand that education is not a party and that a teacher is not there to entertain. Further that by the fact that many of my recent endeavors in the workplace have been unsuccessful. In essence, I have been one cranky ball of frustration since late August.
I came home today pissed off at the world, like usual. The last thing I wanted to do was run. But, this was a milestone day and decided that the rest of my training would not go so well if I couldn't even start half marathon training day 1 on time. So I forced my self into my compression capris (after a long hard day...spandex is not a mood elevator) laced up my mizunos and headed out for a run. It was brisk and it was after 5 pm, which is much later than I like to start. The running was slow going at first, especially since I had lifted the day before. But as time went on an amazing thing happened. I became less stressed. Each hill I ran up and consequently down (I like those much better) I began to feel the tension release from my shoulders. Then, I realized somewhere between mile 2 and 3 that what I was doing felt good. Not, the endorphins out of breath good, but good to the core. I was at peace. I returned home not nearly as angry and proud that I ran 3 miles continuously and that those 3 miles were marked with many different challenges.
So what did I learn? I learned that deep down I want to be athletic. I started running to lose weight, and its been slow going, but that isn't why I kept with running. I didn't realize it until now, but running is my hobby and my passion. It makes me feel good about myself and it allows me a sense of identity that is separate from my work. Too often, I have become absorbed into my job and I feel like it is the end all be all. I am not happy with this arrangement. I need more and I need to keep running because it allows me to be who I am. I am not the fastest or the slimmest individual. But, I am me and I am unique. My stride is unique, my pace is deliberate and calculated. Many runners are similar, but no two runners are exactly alike. I like the fact that my sport allows me to be who I am and that what I get out of running is what I choose to get out of it. Running is definitely a solitary sport and it is where I go to seek that solitude.
Until next time, happy running :-)
First let me say, I had a bad day at work. Actually, this year it seems like I have had many bad days at work. Just a quick vent, I get frustrated that I never get recognized by my boss' for my work and all the extra things i do. I also get frustrated at how my students don't understand that education is not a party and that a teacher is not there to entertain. Further that by the fact that many of my recent endeavors in the workplace have been unsuccessful. In essence, I have been one cranky ball of frustration since late August.
I came home today pissed off at the world, like usual. The last thing I wanted to do was run. But, this was a milestone day and decided that the rest of my training would not go so well if I couldn't even start half marathon training day 1 on time. So I forced my self into my compression capris (after a long hard day...spandex is not a mood elevator) laced up my mizunos and headed out for a run. It was brisk and it was after 5 pm, which is much later than I like to start. The running was slow going at first, especially since I had lifted the day before. But as time went on an amazing thing happened. I became less stressed. Each hill I ran up and consequently down (I like those much better) I began to feel the tension release from my shoulders. Then, I realized somewhere between mile 2 and 3 that what I was doing felt good. Not, the endorphins out of breath good, but good to the core. I was at peace. I returned home not nearly as angry and proud that I ran 3 miles continuously and that those 3 miles were marked with many different challenges.
So what did I learn? I learned that deep down I want to be athletic. I started running to lose weight, and its been slow going, but that isn't why I kept with running. I didn't realize it until now, but running is my hobby and my passion. It makes me feel good about myself and it allows me a sense of identity that is separate from my work. Too often, I have become absorbed into my job and I feel like it is the end all be all. I am not happy with this arrangement. I need more and I need to keep running because it allows me to be who I am. I am not the fastest or the slimmest individual. But, I am me and I am unique. My stride is unique, my pace is deliberate and calculated. Many runners are similar, but no two runners are exactly alike. I like the fact that my sport allows me to be who I am and that what I get out of running is what I choose to get out of it. Running is definitely a solitary sport and it is where I go to seek that solitude.
Until next time, happy running :-)
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